Monday, September 25, 2006

Somewhere along the way we decided that we're taking her outside everyday as long as she's with us.


















There is very little to say about today other than that it was filled with laughter provided by friends and family, tears that flowed without warning and long periods of quiet. The neonatologist continues to lie to us kindly, saying that perhaps she'll rally and end up being around for a couple more weeks. The odds of that are more or less nothing and we know it. But it's very sweet of her to give us that hope.

Tuesday's regimen of medications has been switched from "as needed" to "at scheduled times." We talked to the neonatologist about it and all decided that would be best for Tuesday. The times when she is awake or almost awake are actually the hardest because, as i've said, it seems that when she's more or less aware she is also in pain and discomfort. These are periods when nothing calms her down, nothing comforts her, so keeping her from having to go through them is ideal for everyone. Those with children will know that there are few pains greater in life than watching your little one suffer and knowing that there is nothing you can do to help them. Those without children, well, let me tell you, as someone who always sneered at such seemingly high and mightly commentary, you just don't know what it's like. If you ever want to feel powerless, have a kid; i guarantee there will be moments of the most profound helplessness at some point during your parenthood.

That hair is in fact just as wonderfully soft and kissable as it looks. The bald spot is from the staff giving her a shave, just to clarify.